The Legend of Erik: Tunics and Cellars
by Siren's Chant
Summary: Zelda and Phantom of the Opera crossover. Rather hilarious, if you don't like the fop (Aka, Raoul). R&R!


Note: I am a very big Phantom of the Opera fan, but I also love Zelda... This is a product of both. Okay, I know that some people out there think that Link and Zelda are bro and sis, and I don't discredit that in any sense, but I am not one of those people. They are on their honeymoon in this story. Just try not to think about it and enjoy it (please? ~_^). I wasn't really thinking when I wrote this anyway! Also, this story isn't really accurate in terms of time, storylines, and, well, worlds. I'm sorry if that confuses you. Wellum, that's it. Enjoy! Oh, one more thing, it's supposed to be semi-funny, so don't take it too seriously. Oh, and this is part one of two; I'm going to write another one where the Phantom and Christine comes to Link and Zelda's Hyrule. It's all depending on how well this one is received, but don't hold back! Thanx! (If you haven't read The Phantom of the Opera or seen the musical, 1) SHAME ON YOU! and 2) you probably won't understand the Phantom references. On the other hand, if you haven't played Zelda: Ocarina of Time or understand the storyline then, 1) YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING OUT! and 2) you probably won't get the Zelda references.) But, most of the jokes are pretty general, so don't worry. One more thing, I do not own any of the Zelda or POTO references. Okay, done!  
  
Part One: THE LEGEND OF ERIK: TUNICS AND CELLARS  
  
*Foreword: Link and Zelda are on their honeymoon in Paris. Unconsciously, Link PROMISED to take Zelda to see the opera there. Consequently Link took Zelda to see the biggest opera hit, due to the miraculous performance of a certain Christine Daae, Faust.  
  
Link and Zelda are talking before the performance in their very inexpensive box (apparently Rupees aren't worth much in Paris). Since they had come to Paris only yesterday, Box Five was the only box left available. They weren't treated very nicely either because of the way they were dressed. Link and Zelda guessed it was because of his bright green tunic, so he went back to the hotel to change into something less boisterous, the Zora tunic. They deemed Zelda's dress perfect (?!).  
  
"Well, Link, I never expected you to actually take me to the opera! But thanks!"  
  
"*Furrowed brow, apparently trying to remember making such a promise* Yeah, sure Zelda..."  
  
"What do you suppose this is about?"  
  
"Well, it's called Faust... Maybe it's about some sort of... Actually, I've never heard of a Faust before... Maybe it's the guy's name?"  
  
"Maybe... But isn't that a sort of weird name? Poor boy, what was his mother thinking? And I thought I heard it all when I found out your name was Link... Were you named after that game show or what?"  
  
"*scowling* Well, darling, I thought I'd seen it all when I found out your name was Zelda. Were you named after a gypsy or something?"  
  
"*eyes narrowing* I'm not the one with the earring, my love. And besides, they must have liked my name, after all. The games ARE named after me."  
  
"*mumbling* Yeah, but I do all the work... Your the one who keeps getting captured..."  
  
"Ahem, what was that?"  
  
"*batting eyes innocently* Nothing..."  
  
"-ugh-"  
  
The candles dim and the curtain begins to rise. There is uproar of audience applause as they see Christine on the stage.  
  
"*fervently scrambles to find opera glasses* Who is she?..."  
  
"That's must be Christine Daae, the famous singer... Link! Quit gawking!" Zelda looks over at her new husband drooling all over his tunic.  
  
"Wow... She sings really well! It's almost like an angel..." Link says wishing he had his ocarina to join in. Zelda, in her newfound duty as a wife, proceeds to smack him and puts his tongue back in his mouth.  
  
"OW! What was that for?" Link cries. She points to the drool on his lap and says nothing. "Oh...hehe..." He smiles.  
  
"Now hush you! I can't hear her!"  
  
They sit quietly for a few minutes until a resonate voice fills the box. It says, "Isn't she wonderful?" very softly.  
  
They both jump and Link, on reflex, reaches for his sword. Finding that it isn't there, he says, "Shoot! I left my sword in my other tunic!"  
  
Zelda looks around apprehensively. She says, "Who's there..."  
  
"More like what's there..." Link says.  
  
The voice replies, "It doesn't matter who I am, but... Who are you? You definitely don't LOOK like Parisians..."  
  
"I'm Link and this is Zelda. We're from Hyrule, which is very, very far from here..." Link is talking and looking around the box, under seats and such, at the same time. Then he adds, as an afterthought, "And we're royalty, they'll miss us..." Zelda peers at him.  
  
"What do you think I'll do, Your Highness? Eat you?" The voice begins to laugh sinisterly.  
  
"Why are you bothering us? What have we done?" Zelda asks.  
  
"Why, you're sitting in my box. Isn't it obvious?" Hearing this, Link immediately leaps from his seat and turns around to look.  
  
"Nope, I'm not sitting on him. It must be you Zelda..."  
  
"*stifling a laugh* HUSH! What do you want from us, Voice?"  
  
"Do you see that girl down there on the stage? I want you to watch her...disappear."  
  
Shell-shocked, Link and Zelda immediately glance down at the stage. The lights shut off, they hear a scream, and, when the light returns, Christine is gone.  
  
"Whoa! You're a good magician Mr. Voice! Wait a second... Are you a Wizrobe?"  
  
There is no response.  
  
"Quick Link! We have got to find out where that girl went! She could be in trouble!" Zelda says.  
  
"Finally, a different damsel to rescue..." Link mumbles.  
  
They sprint from their box down to the stage. They see a queer man poking about, lifting up floorboards and trapdoors. He is rather young, good- looking, and is yelling, "Christine! Answer me, Christine!"  
  
Link and Zelda look at one another and decide that he is a maniac. They start towards Christine's dressing room.  
  
When they arrive, the first thing they notice is the gigantic mirror on one wall.  
  
"Wow, she must like looking at herself..." Zelda says.  
  
"Chah, wonder why..." Link says.  
  
"*rolls eyes*"  
  
"Do you think there's some kind of secret key here? Perhaps there is a ridiculously hard puzzle that is impossible to solve in this room... Do you think? Huh, HUH?!" Link pants.  
  
"No, I don't think. Those games really messed you up huh?"  
  
"*still panting*"  
  
Zelda sighs and looks around the room. She sees a letter on the dressing table. "Link, calm down and take a look at this!"  
  
The letter says-  
  
Dear Raoul, I have finally decided to run away with you. I think that this last performance is good for Erik though. I don't think he will do anything drastic. But I told you, even if I refuse to go with you, you must take me by force! Come right to my dressing room afterwards and we will fly. Goodbye my love,  
  
Christine  
  
"Ah ha! Raoul took her!" Link proclaims.  
  
"No! This Erik fellow did. Isn't it obvious?"  
  
Link points an accusing finger at her. "Hey, I have the Triforce of Courage in my hand, NOT the Triforce of Wisdom!"  
  
Before Zelda had a moment to reflect upon this, the strange man from the stage bursts into the room. He looks crazed and very upset.  
  
He strides all around the room. Finally, after they had been standing there for five minutes watching him, he looks up at Link and Zelda and asks, "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Link and this is my wife, Zelda. We're from Hyrule and we're royalty." Zelda looks at him and he says, "Well, you never know..."  
  
Looking back at the man Zelda asks, "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Raoul de Chagny, Christine's fiancee. What are you doing here?"  
  
Link began. "We're trying to find her. A voice in our box told us that she was going to disappear, and Zelda, being as nosey as she is, decided to find out what happened to her."  
  
Zelda scowls at him.  
  
"Would you care to help me? I'm not that smart, not that good with a pistol, not too fast, not that good with a sword, not that witty, not that smart, either..."  
  
"You said that twice." Link points out.  
  
"I know, I have bad memory too."  
  
"Okay then, what's the difference between you and a lab of beef?" Link asks.  
  
"Umm..."  
  
"That should keep him busy until we find Christine." Link says to Zelda.  
  
Suddenly a very odd looking man bursts into the room. "Are you here to find Christine Daae?"  
  
"Yes, we are." Zelda says.  
  
"Well, I'm the Persian and you are Link and Zelda I presume?"  
  
"Yes, how did you know?"  
  
"From the way you're dressed. Only Hyrule royalty wears that..." He looks at Link's tights. "What is that over there?"  
  
"Raoul de Chagny. He wants to help too!" Zelda says.  
  
"Well, I know how we can get to Erik and Christine. Through this mirror..." The Persian begins to feel the mirror until a mechanism is activated that swings the mirror on a pivot. "Let's get going before it's too late!"  
  
Link takes Zelda's hand and they run to the mirror. "Wait!" Link says, "Raoul, pencils down buddy."  
  
Raoul looks up aggravated. "I could've used a PENCIL!! Oh well, I forgot the question anyway..."  
  
Link smacks his forehead.  
  
"We have to go!" Zelda cries.  
  
They all start through the mirror down a very dark corridor. "This reminds me of something..."  
  
As Link is looking erratically around, making useless karate gestures, the Persian starts to talk with Zelda.  
  
"You know, in the story that Leroux wrote, I went down to Erik's house a different way..."  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Yes, and we got stuck in a torture chamber and nearly fried to death!"  
  
"Oh my goodness!"  
  
"It's true! But this is the way it really happened. Leroux just made it more interesting. I can't blame him. There's nothing interesting about walking down a half mile corridor..."  
  
"WATCH OUT! Flaming skulltulla straight ahead!" Link shrieks.  
  
"What? Where?" Everyone says.  
  
"Nevermind, I'll take care of it." Link dashes at the flaming skull and kicks it. But it doesn't disappear.  
  
"Gee, the enemies I fight in Hyrule usually disappear in a puff of green sparkles..."  
  
The skull, now visibly a man, gets up off the ground. "This ain't Hyrule kid." He rubs his sore chin. "I'm the ratcatcher. Now, if you'll let me through..."  
  
Blushing thoroughly, Link bows and let's him by.  
  
"Nice one Link."  
  
"I didn't know... Everything is so different here! I want to go home! Waaaahhh!"  
  
Zelda rubs him on the back consonantly. "Don't worry honey, we'll be home soon..."  
  
Link looks at her, hurt. "Why did you have to drag us all the way to France so that we can save an incredibly beautiful singer from the clutches of an evil voice in the wall?!"  
  
"It's the only way to get publicity here. No one has ever even heard of Hyrule!"  
  
"I don't want these Paris maniacs running around in Hyrule!"  
  
"Well, it's not as if they'll try to take over..." Zelda receives suspicious glances from the Persian and Raoul. They continue to walk on.  
  
They finally reach a gigantic lake. The Persian shivers.  
  
"Do you have bad memories of this place?" Zelda asks.  
  
"No, it's just cold here."  
  
"oh..."  
  
"Man, it's a good thing I wore the Zora tunic!" Link exclaims.  
  
"What's a tunic?" Raoul asks.  
  
Zelda whispers to Link, "I think that in one point in his life he play goalie for the dart's team..."  
  
The group stands there for about five minutes staring at the water. Then the Persian yells, "Well, aren't you going to go in Link?"  
  
Link, who is startled by the shout, says, "Well, who said it had to be me?"  
  
Raoul says, "You're the one with the magical dress thing on..."  
  
"IT'S A TUNIC!" Link cries.  
  
"Hush will you? Sounds reverberate in chambers like this... Don't you know Link?" Zelda says.  
  
"Ohhh... Well, I don't have my Ocarina so... We're screwed. Let's go home."  
  
Link starts to make his way towards the unseen exit when Zelda grabs his shirt and says, "Think about what you're doing!"  
  
Raoul tries to think about what she means, but then a puff of gray smoke comes out of his ears.  
  
Link looks at Raoul and says, "Fire in the hole!"  
  
Zelda sighs.  
  
"Why can't we just swim over? What's the big deal?"  
  
There is a silence.  
  
"Wait, I see a boat!"  
  
"Where?!"  
  
"There!"  
  
They all run the direction that Raoul mentioned. Sure enough, there was a boat.  
  
"Nicely done!" Says the Persian.  
  
"I'm not all dumb!" Link rolls his eyes.  
  
"Let's get in!"  
  
They all hurriedly climb in the boat. Link and the Persian take the oars.  
  
Halfway there, Zelda asks a rather obvious question. "Where are we going? You never mentioned..."  
  
"To the house on the lake."  
  
"Oh. Wait, what?!"  
  
"It's where Erik lives."  
  
"*?*"  
  
"The voice!"  
  
"Ahhh..." Realizing this, she points a finger at Link. "HA! I told you it was the Erik guy! What of it now huh?"  
  
"I don't care," says Link, making a point not to look at her.  
  
Zelda sits triumphantly.  
  
They begin to reach the house. The Persian realizes that they have no immediate plan of action. He begins to remark upon this when a little stick in the water comes towards them.  
  
"Hmm, what a pretty little stick! *baby voice* You want to play, don't you whittle stick? Awh, wook at whittle stick..." Raoul says.  
  
"DON'T TOUCH THAT STICK!!" the Persian yelps.  
  
"Why? Ouch! It bit me! Why you bloody little..."  
  
"It's Erik! Cover your ears, now!"  
  
They all cover their ears, except for Raoul because he's hearing not too good either, and the little stick in the water starts to sing...  
  
"I said COVER YOUR EARS!" The Persian says.  
  
"Hmm... What? The little stick sings so good..."  
  
The singing of the little stick is something none of them had heard before. It was the most spectacular man's voice, but, in a way, it was the voice of an angel...  
  
"Erik! Stop playing games with us!"  
  
The stick stops singing and laughs. Erik, finding it futile to try and trick them anymore says, "But Persian, it's the only fun I get down here..." His voice is silky and captivating, but the Persian knows his ways.  
  
"Yes, it's all the fun you get other than a certain prisoner of yours named Christine Daae!"  
  
"If you wish to talk to me, come to my house. It is easier to stand and be heard then than underwater..."  
  
Link, who is amazed by this marvel, asks, "How are you talking underwater? Isn't that impossible? I know! You must be a Zora!"  
  
"What's the heck's a Zora?! Listen you fool, when you meet me, you will find that I am the last thing from a Zora..."  
  
"Uh huh *rolls eyes*..."  
  
Erik lets out a cry of pure rage and the stick proceeds to the shore. Raoul dives in after it.  
  
"Raoul! What are you doing?" Zelda asks.  
  
"I want to catch the stick and wreak revenge upon it!"  
  
"If you had good hearing, you would've heard that that little stick belongs to the mouth of a man!"  
  
"... Does that matter?"  
  
Raoul continues to swim towards it, and the rest, utterly fed up with him, row on.  
  
They finally reach the lake, and are surprised and somewhat disappointed to see that Raoul is still alive.  
  
They walk about the cellar house a bit to find Christine, but the Persian is more interested with finding Erik's location.  
  
Suddenly, they heard someone talking behind the door to the back of a long hallway. "Oh help. Oh help." It says, monotone.  
  
"Christine? Is that you?"  
  
"No! This isn't Christine, it's her... Answering machine! Leave a message after the beep... BEEP!"  
  
"Hi Christine, this is Raoul..."  
  
"Oh you dolt!" Zelda cries, "Christine, we know you're in there... Come out this instant!"  
  
There is no reply.  
  
"Come out young lady!"  
  
Again no reply.  
  
"Don't make me come in there! Just wait till I tell your father when he gets home!"  
  
Christine says, "HA! My father's dead, and he wouldn't want me to come out!"  
  
"Argh..."  
  
Link thinks up an idea. "Christine, if you come out, I'll marry you!"  
  
Zelda's eyes get humongous. "OH NO YOU WON'T!!! We're on our honeymoon for goodness sake!"  
  
"I'm kidding! Honestly!" Link says hurriedly.  
  
Just then a very tall, very thin, and very frightening masked man walks in. He is wearing all black and peers down at them with shining eyes.  
  
"The only one she'll be marrying tonight is me!" He growls.  
  
Zelda gasps, "It's the beautiful voice!" she says to herself.  
  
Raoul steps up to Erik. "Not if I can help it!" he says, valiantly.  
  
Link mumbles, "He can't help himself to breakfast in the morning; how's he supposed to help this?"  
  
Christine shouts again, as if she's not interested, "Raoul, don't hurt yourself. Flee. Flee."  
  
"I'm not leaving without you my love!" He replies.  
  
"Step aside," Link says, "I'll break down the door!" He makes a running start for the door, and with a bang crashes into it. The door is made of three layers of solid oak, so therefore he failed miserably.  
  
Link tumbles to the floor, "Where's a good fire arrow when you need one?" He says dazedly.  
  
Raoul peers at Erik, "He's got the key! Sick 'em!"  
  
Erik takes off with Raoul at his heels. Erik thinks to himself, "This is nuts... Why am I running from HIM?" Erik turns around and takes off towards Raoul. Consequently, Raoul screams like a girl and runs. Erik laughs sinisterly as he chases Raoul out of the house and around the lake in circles.  
  
When they had gone, the Persian says, "Well, we have to figure out how to get her out of there!"  
  
"Christine, do you see a key in there?" Link says.  
  
"What kind of stupid question is that?! If she had a key, don't you think that she would've come out by now?" Zelda says.  
  
In reply, Link waved his left hand, "Ahem, Triforce of Courage, NOT Wisdom!"  
  
"Oh, I don't care. He has some kind of little bag on the organ with keys in it, but I'm not sure if one of them is my key..." Christine told them.  
  
Link, the Persian, and Zelda all scuttle to the organ room. Sure enough, they see the little bag. "Quick, grab it and let's get her out of this place!" Zelda says.  
  
They all hurry back to the room. "We've got the key! Hold on!"  
  
Christine, utterly annoyed by them, says (unenthusiastically), "Oh. Hurry."  
  
Link says, "Give me that... I have plenty of experience opening doors with keys you know! Step aside amateurs!"  
  
He opens the door and they see Christine sitting at the vanity, with a wedding dress on, very preoccupied with fixing her hair and putting on her make-up. "Please, you must hurry," she says sarcastically, while putting on mascara, "He might come back soon."  
  
Link peers at her, "You have to be the weirdest damsel I've ever saved!"  
  
Startled, she looks at him and says, "SHOOT! You found the key..."  
  
"Yes, we did after you told us where it was..."  
  
She puts her head in her hands on the table. "Oh, don't you understand? I was trying to get away from Raoul! Not Erik! Raoul is good for nothing! I think he's already informed you?"  
  
"Yes... Maybe not always telling us, but he has." The Persian says.  
  
Puzzled, Link looks at Zelda, whose eyes are burning with fury. "You mean... We came all the way down here for NOTHING?!!!" Zelda pants.  
  
"Well, not for nothing... We're having a wedding, and... I guess you're invited!"  
  
"*snarls*"  
  
"Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do except leave. I'm not staying for this crazy wedding!" Link says.  
  
Raoul and Erik arrive back. Erik is supporting Raoul, who is limping. They walk into the room and Erik announces, "We've been talking."  
  
"Good for you."  
  
"Shut-up! We have been talking, serious talking, and we've decided that neither of us want to marry Christine. Goodbye Christine, you know your way out from what I've heard..." Raoul says.  
  
"I thought you couldn't hear very well Raoul..."  
  
"I hear fine now that Erik pushed me into the water. The water cleared out my ears! Thanks buddy!"  
  
"Anytime... Friend."  
  
*Authoress' note: Isn't this great! A real plot twist! Erik and Raoul become friends and Christine isn't wanted by anyone! Hehehe!*  
  
"Just hold on one cotton-picking minute!" Christine yells, "You mean to tell me that neither of you want to marry me?"  
  
"Yes." They answer in unison.  
  
"Well, then, Link, I'll marry YOU now!"  
  
"Ohhh no you don't!" Zelda says. She takes Link's hand and squeezes it hard.  
  
"*trembles with pain* I don't want to marry her Zelda, RELAX!!" And when Zelda loosens her grip, Link winks at Christine.  
  
"Well, I guess we should go now." The Persian says. "I came down here to save a girl, but no one wants her... Poor rejected thing! We'll take her back up."  
  
"I'll stay here with Erik, I have a feeling there's a lot still to be said."  
  
"*sinister smile* Yes, there is a lot more..." Erik says.  
  
"Let's go!" Link says.  
  
They make their way up again and bid their farewells. The Persian says to Christine, "*consoling* Don't worry Christine, there will be other young, wealthy vicomtes you can seduce!"  
  
"I know..." She weeps, "But there's not another Erik!"  
  
Link says, "Ahh, come on! How hard can it be to find a masked musical genius in the cellars of an opera that are just waiting to entrap a girl with his voice through a big mirror in one of the dressing rooms?"  
  
They all stare at him.  
  
"Ahem!" He shows his left hand.  
  
They all say, "WE KNOW!!!"  
  
Well, this concludes my story. The Persian goes back to... Persia? And Christine stays at the opera. Link and Zelda get back home using the Prelude of Light (Link found his ocarina buried beneath his tunics in the suitcase). And they all lived happily ever after until...  
  
"What's this?" Erik says to himself while checking his mail. "It looks like an... Invitation. But... It can't be!"  
  
The Invitation reads as follows:  
  
The Royal Family of Hyrule graciously requests your presence at the anniversary party in honor of their Royal Majesties King Link and Queen Zelda. It is a masquerade, so dress appropriately. Do write back as soon as you can.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Link and Zelda  
  
"Well, now, this IS interesting..." Erik says. "I suppose I should write back now." He calls out, "Hey Raoul! I got invited to a party!"  
  
"Splendid! Am I invited?"  
  
"NO!!! HAHAHAHA! Now get back to work you fop!"  
  
"*whines* Okay..."  
  
*Tis the end y'all. I KNOW it was long, but I sincerely hoped you enjoyed it! Please review! It was my first shot at a... What do you call it? Oh! A crossover! Thanks ^_~! 


End file.
